SPORTING THE BEST RECORD AT THIS DATE IN THE LAST 20 YEARS, AND MAYBE EVER, THE UWRF MEN’S BASKETBALL TEAM (11-2, 4-0 WIAC) WILL PLAY STOUT (7-5, 2-2 WIAC) AT KARGES (CAR-GUESS) GYM WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 5, AT 6 P.M. THE WOMEN’S GAME WILL START AT 8:00.

PAST RECORDS REVEAL THAT NO OTHER FALCON TEAM HAS ACCUMULATED 11 WINS THIS EARLY. THE 2001-2 TEAM WAS 9-2, AND THE CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM OF 2003-4 WAS 8-3 AT THIS POINT. IT IS ALSO POSSIBLE THAT NO OTHER FALCON TEAM HAS BEEN 4-0 IN THE WIAC AT THIS DATE, BUT I’M TOO LAZY TO CHECK THAT STAT.

LOOKING BACK EVEN FURTHER, BETWEEN 1966 AND 1990, A PERIOD OF 24 YEARS, ONLY 7 TEAMS HAVE WON 11 OR MORE GAMES IN THE ENTIRE SEASON! SO IS THIS A GREAT YEAR IN FALCON BASKETBALL (SO FAR)? OF COURSE. AND SHOULD WE CELEBRATE THAT FACT WHILE WE CAN? WITHOUT DOUBT! AFTER ALL, WHEN OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS, FALCON FANS RESPOND. OR DON’T THEY?

THEREFORE, WE NEED LEGIONS OF RAUCOUS, WILD-EYED, FIRE BREATHING FALCON FANS PRESENT WEDNESDAY. INDEED, WE REQUIRE A RETURN OF THE “KARGES KRAZYS” OF 2004, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THAT STUDENTS ARE STILL ON BREAK.

AND AFTER THE MEN’S GAME, THE CROWD MUST REMAIN IN ORDER TO WATCH THE FALCON WOMEN (10-3, 2-2 WIAC) TEAR STOUT (5-7, 0-3 WIAC) TO SHREDS. THE WOMEN’S TEAM HAS A FOUR GAME WINNING STREAK, WITH RECENT VICTORIES OVER HAMLINE, CONCORDIA UNIVERSITY, CONCORDIA-MOORHEAD COLLEGE, AND ST. SCHOLASTICA. SCORING IS REMARKABLY BALANCED, WITH THE STARTING FIVE OF TIFFANY GREGORICH, ALISE HOLST, MARANDA DOHRN, BRITTANY GREGORICH, AND TAYLOR HOUSE ALL AVERAGING FROM 9 TO 11 POINTS PER GAME.

SO–WORDS TO THE WISE ARE SUFFICIENT:  BE THERE WEDNESDAY NIGHT!

AND SPEAKING OF WISDOM, ACCORDING TO ANN LANDERS, WHAT ARE TWO THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO IN BED? ANSWER:  POINT AND LAUGH.

One Response to “FALCON MEN (11-2), WOMEN (10-3) VS. STOUT HERE 11/5”

  1. Janet Burns
    16:20, 06.01.2011

    Why are you always shouting?

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